Just don't know

React or respond,
it's a matter of choice
Whether keep you or destroy
I can no longer decide

I have grown stronger
Only to fear
Losing my feelings
To all what I dear

Walking on a string
Motivated by pain and applause
I can control myself
But I want to fall

It's just so hard to understand
In open field with all possibilities
If I am attracted to the accolades
Or pain of the few chosen realities

I think I am something
Not defined by you
I have my feelings
A distinction of the view

But even now and then
You are in front of me
For my ground choices
My reaction for you and thei

May be it's just not me
Not horoscope or sign define me
It's just my apprehension of the world
With you in front of me.

I wish I know what it is
What's so special in you
What washes away my pride
My sanity I don't know
Will I ever find love
Or just wait for your pity soul

Dil ki baat

Aaj bhi khayal karte hain to
Fir se Bhanwar mein paate hain
Nikal to aaye Hain par
Fir se fasna chahte Hain
Ese bhi hum Kya ghanta ukhad rahe Hain
Kam se Kam Teri yaad mein
jeene ka to ehsaas Kar rahe Hain

Na na ye mat samajhna
ki tumse Kuch umeed rakhte Hain
Na hum aawaz sunna chahte Hain
Aur na hi Nazar Bhar dekhna chahte Hain
Ab hum akele hi tadap ke khush Hain
Iss tadap ka ehsaas tumhe karwaye
Ye bhi ab gawara nhi
Na hi tumhe samjhane ki aas Hai
Tumhe dukhi dekhna to kya
ab Khush dekhke bhi guzara nhi

I am so foolish!

I do not understand
what I have been doing wrong
should I take a stand
Or mesmerize others song

Why I am so foolish
In comprehending this social construct
How much to give
How much to resist from self-destruct

Should I change my nature
And solve this complex equation
Or listen to my heart
And don't give fucks to the situation

I just don't know
How to convey, I am the best for you
I can manage, adjust a lot, but
Its not that I will die without you

I just couldn't grow enough
To draw that line between you and I
How much to show I care for you
How much to hide to protect my "I"

I also feel pity that
You will lose me with your level of thoughts
It's not your fault, nor you can control
May be there is some "you"
Who can resonate with my clocks.